Here's a question. 
How would you compare coming out to your friends and family as a nudist vs. coming out as gay/bi/trans/whatever sexual identity you come out as? Is either easier or harder?

That’s a good question but ‘coming out’ ( I hate that phrase, should be ‘ it’s just me’ ) 

both situations are different, similar, it about excepting yourself and feeling free inside, both can be hidden of course.
when it comes to the time to tell others about being a naturist, I guess, everyone worries about what other person might think, but…. If the person you are telling is hurt / worried / discussed- are they a real friend?, or do they just know you for their own benefit… similar to ‘coming out’ or ‘it’s just me’

one scenario does not fit all 

Thanks for this question Kevin. It is an interesting one, and I think one that can be rather illuminating about society. I know that some people on ANW have certainly said that naturism needs to take a leaf out of the LGBQT+ journey in recent decades, as a way of considering how we can actively promote and encourage an acceptance of naturism. 

I think it would also be interesting to compare the idea of "coming out as gay" say 40 years ago and telling people you were a naturist back then. I would say that the former was much harder back than and the latter much easier. Things have changed and in many ways it is really good. Being LGBQT is seen as a very positive thing today in society. For example, we were told earlier this week by someone in school admissions that it would be much easier to get our sons into their chosen school if they were LGBQT. It is crazy as things like location should be the prime factor and sexuality shouldn't really come into it at all. But at least it is reflection of a much more accepting world than the world that the like of Alan Turing had to live in. 

It can appear that LGBQT seems to have become a trendy thing. When our son was 9/10 all of the children in his class were stating that they were LGBQT in some way. Our son was rather bemused as it seemed more like a want to say they loved Stranger Things or TicToc rather than a reality about their sexuality. Our older son sees an inequality growing his school (and others) seem to be showing an unfair attitude towards LGBQT who are allowed to dye their hair pink or varnish their nails black, when other pupils are told they cannot. This positive discrimination may be doing harm in some ways, but at least it shows that the young LGBQT are not hidden, and as each school has an LGBQT club today it can also mean that they are not alone. Although I am not sure that segregation helps to build tolerance. 

So on the surface it seems that society is much more embracing of various sexualities, I wonder if that is true in reality? Do the LGBQT individuals actually appreciate the positive discrimination or do they resent it? Do individuals actually appreciated being categorised together as a jumble of letters. Maybe by talking about LGBQT we are separating them unnecessarily from heterosexual individuals, are we not all just humans? Is our sexuality something we should or need to be labelled with? Does the need for society to do this place sex as the most defining and important part of who we are? Encouraging the idea that we are all obsessed with sex? Sex is a private part of our lives and yet it is becoming symbolic for who we are. We see similar patterns in racial origins. How many black people have stated they do not want Black History Month and worry that when they get a promotion that others assume they got it through colour rather than achievement? Why are we still so obsessed with skin colour when we live in a world where we are all so transient, where people have been living in countries for generations, where people of different skin colour have friendships, relationships and marriages.

Yet we are encouraged everyday to consider colour and sexuality.  TV channels have TV categories that are created because they have black characters in them or gay characters. Is that really what anyone wants, or should we watch programmes based on a mix of people taking part in a mix or stories and lives and ideas. We should watch films that tackle themes like segregation, but doesn't the placing of these films into a "black" category simply suggest we are still segregating?

Does the fact that almost every film and TV show made today feature LGBQT characters in them represent reality or does it make LGBQT people consider it as forced tokenism ensuring that all new programmes and movies cannot be accused of not showing equality. Maybe some stories simply have nothing to do with sexuality, and maybe other ones have a lot to do with it. These thoughts and much more fascinate me and it is quite hard to know how LGBQT individuals think. It may be trendy and acceptable on the surface, but maybe it is just as hard as ever "coming out" to family and friends. Maybe parents and friends can still be cruel and prejudice and rejecting. 

One thing seems certain to me (in theory at least) is that as far as today's general society is concerned coming out as LGBQT is considered much more "everyday and acceptable" than it would be stating you are a naturist.  Our sons go to school where any sexual orientation is simply accepted but if an individual was to mention they were a naturist they would be ripped to pieces. Seen as perverse, exhibitionist and voyeuristic, bullied and teased and the life choice would not be tolerated. Their family or parents would be seen as disturbing to say the least. I think that a few decades back there would have been some gentle teasing and joking and some would have said it was daring and other would have commented about the person being lucky in seeing others naked, but I don't think any would have treated it as a reason to hate, mistrust and accuse.

Maybe in some ways our acceptance of the world being a much more sexual place, has left us assuming that everything is sexual. Our boys have grown up in a world of stranger danger and child abuse being a media favourite topic. Children today use terms like nonce and paedo as trendy names to use against people, and when girls and boys fall out the girls often tell friends that the boys abused them or scare the boys by telling them that they have gone to the police and said they raped them. There is a sexual danger in the air of the playground, and it is not healthy. It moves on into adulthood where false accusations of child abuse, rape or perversion are used among couples when they split or divorce. We see now that being a naturist is being used as a way of fighting in divorces or for getting child custody. It would be hard to imagine any one in todays world getting away with the unfair idea of keeping a father away from  a child because he is gay but it seems OK to use the equally unfair idea of naturism being a good reason to stop custody. 

I am talking as a non LGBQT person and I trust that none of what I have written above can be taken as offensive by anyone, as it certainly isn't meant to be. I really do not see a problem with people being LGBQT and often find that simply writing about it can make it seem maybe overly relevant. Firstly that we are saying that there is a them and us. We regularly read "LGBQT community" for example, and maybe sometimes I have written that, but I like to think that we don't have separate communities where people are placed into categories, but a mixed, integrated community where everyone gets on, lives together and accepts each other. We hear of areas in large towns where cultural groups live away from other cultures, can that ever be good long term? 

In naturism we come across gay only, men only, women only, adult only venues. groups, events etc and I cannot help but think, should we be more diverse than that? I wouldn't want to go to a women only event. I would prefer to not be the only woman, or the only person in their 40's or the only family etc but I think it is better to have a healthy mix based on a natural ratio across humanity. 

Back to the original question though. Something we need to remember is that being LGBQT is something that is deeper than something we choose to do for our holidays. It is who we are rather than how we pass our time. To tell someone that we are gay must be vitally more important than telling someone we are a naturist. And as such it must then be more concerning, we can decide to give up being naked on a beach, but we cannot decide to give up our sexuality. 

However, and this is not to undermine the above thought. Naturism can be more than just a bit of holiday fun. I think we have all read or written things on ANW that can show that naturism is part of who we are, how we tick, part of our inner self, part of our nature, part of our history, and a part of what is good in society, something that society should embrace and something that  can help create a better, safer, more honest and giving world, and certainly that would include being in a world that is more genuinely accepting of people's  sexuality. 

We are shaped by our beliefs as well as who we are, but maybe it is fair enough to argue that being a naturist is part of who we are, just as being gay may be. We can opt to be religious, or atheist, we can opt to be vegetarian or ecowarriors, we can opt to marry and have children, but part of that option must originally be based on something deep inside us, and once we start on the journey it can become an integral part of us. Something we may wish to defend against prejudice, something we may fight for all our lives, something that may lead us to being judged, bullied, misunderstood and disliked. In some way naturism is just a bit of fun, but in others it is a vital part of what we are and how we live and breathe. Arguably non-naturists are in denial of their true selves, living in the guise of clothing and ignoring their true calling.

So maybe in many ways telling someone you are a naturist is like "coming out?" Saying this is me and please accept it. And in today's society with such fear of nudity and its sexualisation across the internet and media it is very much placing yourself on the line of having people reject you. 

Coming Out refers to the idea of coming out of the closet rather than being in the closet. There is an irony here that closets contain clothes. Maybe as naturist we are not in the closet or out of the closet but something else. Maybe when we tell others we are naturists we are "rejecting the closet" or showing we are "closet optional."

This post was edited by Anna ANW at October 6, 2024 8:37 AM BST

Is it coming out to admit you are a naturist? We do feel that finding the courage to admit that you are within the LGBT fraternity is a much more complex and difficult thing, in a world where people hit the offended button and slander far more easily than in the past. When one opens up and tells a parent they are Gay, it has many hidden connotations for the future, especially in regard to family dynamics. One such huge dynamic that can cause a great deal of disruption to a family unit would be the potential that there may be no grandchildren. For the parents, in some families, this is a huge thing, which can see gay members of the family outcast, which is something we know of, as it has happened to some of our gay friends.

We would like to add at this point, a lot of lucky children who were basically thrown away by their heterosexual parents, have found wonderful and nurturing loving family homes with gay adopted parents.  

An admission that one prefers a naked life, is nowhere near as impactful on a family, although it is understood that some families will not agree to a person’s choice to live naked, even if the family dynamic stays the same.

In order for this argument to stand, there has to be some sort of implication that being a part of the LGBT community is somehow a different thing within naturism. We believe that naturism is a great equaliser, and is none sexual. Being a naturist is a none sexual way of socially interacting, and so therefore people’s sexual persuasion becomes irrelevant, as it is the person they are, and how they treat others within the community that become the focal point of each of us during our social interactions.

We believe that there is an uncurrent within modern naturism that segregates the community into convenient pigeon holes, and does so through certain types of rhetoric that does create an atmosphere of fear from those outside the community. A divided community is easily conquered, and as many here will know, we have played a huge role within naturism to try and bring all of these segregated groups together as one large naturist family. Admitting to others that you are a naturist for some people is very difficult, for many years there has been a belief that people will lose standing in their community, have jobs put at threat, lose friends etc.. In these cases, we believe that everyone has to judge for themselves how they should approach any situation that may reveal their naturism.

We have encouraged people to understand that it is not as difficult a task as it is sometimes alluded to, and that in general these days most people may find it a little odd, but are to a degree not as offended as people may have first thought. We have seen a lot of evidence of this, as we have been out into the dressed public to seek their opinions.

When it comes to sexuality, as Anna has referred to above, your choice of a sexual partner is a massively important thing that goes to the heart of you as a human being. From a sex therapy point of view, your sexuality and your sex life are of a great importance to who you are in life, and yes, for some, their sexuality is of greater importance than any other aspect of their lives. This is understandable, especially when you consider the many complexities of self acceptance, and then social acceptance, of which in many cases the journey has been a long and deeply emotional, turbulent journey. It can not be compared to becoming a naturist, it is far easier to remove your clothing and socialise, than it is to understand who you are, and then learn to accept and live with that, especially for members of the LGBT community who were born and raised to be something, (Hetrosexual) they later find out they are not.

It is interesting, (and once again I want to reiterate that sharing that you are LGBQT is a bigger aspect to someone's life that naturism), but if we look at it through a legal point of view. Today RnR shared a story about a man who was on trial for being a naturist in his garden, and was thankfully not given a sentence. But where as a few decades back men had to worry about the legal implications of being gay, today they do not. It would be impossible to believe that anyone in the UK or any civilised society would now be arrested for their sexuality. Yet a naturist may still fear that. If either a naturist or an LGBQT individual was being sexually active in their garden then they law would have a right to deal with that, but for a naturist simply going about their non-sexual and innocent gardening there remains a fear of punishment. 

As RnR mention above people fear losing their jobs and standing in the community for being naturists. Imagine someone losing their job now for being gay. The employer would be hung out to dry, and rightly so. So why do naturists fear retribution for their naturism. Why is this harmless, natural and very healthy life choice not given the respect it deserves and why do naturists not feel protected by law?