Before I get started I would like to remind Forum users of this topic

https://anaturistworld.com/forums/topic/119/romance-and-naturism discussing the nature of romance in naturism,

and this topic https://anaturistworld.com/forums/topic/156/being-a-single-naturist discussing the obstacles that can be faced being the solo naturists. 

This topic really stems from a member of ANW who took out a personal advert in naturist magazine H&E and found it of little help, and asked "What Next?" 

To me part of the issue in finding connections is what is the drive for that connection: a relationship, sexual encounter, friendship, companionship, the ability to travel and go on adventures without being alone, sharing costs, actually being allowed in places that are reluctant to welcome single visitors and so forth. 

Steve and I for example have always thought it would be nice to find a local family that we could visit the beach with and our sons could play with, that we could meet up with during the summer, share picnics and just chat. 

For the single man looking for the single woman. It is not easy. There are less women in naturism than men anyway and there are various obstacles that do not help. The rise of women only events keeps single men and women apart, so it becomes harder to naturally connect. An option such as H&E personals are often alongside a whole load of "discreet" services adverts so don't promote trust. Single men are made less than welcome at a lot of clubs and events so once again find it hard to connect with single women, despite the fact that there are single women out there, when we visited Broadlands last year we chatted with a few single women who were divorced or widowed and that is just one club.  

Steve and I have discussed several times the idea of adding some sort of "connecting" service on ANW, but the concern has always been how do we do that without it appearing sexualised and misused, dating sites on the internet often appear seedy, it would need to be safe but also not feel about sexual encounters, after all this is naturism. 

And, as mentioned above people wish to connect for various reasons - families visiting beaches together, simple friendship that could be women/men or could be single men or women looking for fellow men or women to allow them to travel with company. Our hope has been to encourage lots of friendships  on ANW so people can natural find each other.

We also encourage localised groups to allow meet ups in these groups and hopefully, through those friendships, relationships can grow too. If for example a person could find a local swim or other meet up group they may be able to then connect with someone purely by chatting. 

Naturism itself adds extra obstacles. There is a worry about finding a balance between chatting with someone and getting to know them and being a pest, this is the same in all parts of life, but the naked element can make people feel more vulnerable and more concerned about intensions. It shouldn't be the case, but we are fed ideas by society and we cannot always ignore them.  

Another option is to make a friendship away from naturism and then introduce that person to naturism, but meeting an existing naturist does make life easier. 

Ideally naturism would be so common place and usual that the idea of meeting fellow naturists for friendship, company or relationships was very easy, but naturism is still a minority life choice and is often kept quiet, so although the person you live next door to, work alongside or know through another hobby may be a naturist too you often simply don't know. 

As we seem to constantly tackle less and less trust within naturism and life in general - it can feel we are encouraged to hide, encouraged to not meet up in small unorganised groups, encouraged to not trust single men, keep the genders apart, fear abuse, not share naturism as families etc - then the issue of connecting without first being connected seems quite hard. You can meet fellow naturist by going to an organised event, but that is easier said than done if you are not welcome because of your age, gender or lack of relationship. A Catch 22 situation. 

How about women finding men? Are they able to meet single men when single men are often kept at arm's length? Are they encouraged to trust men? 

How about people finding friendships within their own gender? Can there be a issue not appearing sexually interested? 

Is it easier to connect romantically when you are looking for a relationship with someone of the same gender as you? 

Is it easy to find fellow families when the mere mention of families strikes fear in people and paranoia as to why someone may be asking about children?  

When it comes to making connections on ANW becoming Verified is certainly helpful, as building trust is important.

I would love to hear various angles and ideas of  ways to connect within naturism and how to over come the various obstacles we may face as individuals. And how ANW could possibly help to make life easier for all.   

Looking at the original post from the wall, the object was to find a companion, in this case the male was looking for a female, and when you consider naturism currently, it is very understandable. The way the rules have been shaped with quota’s for men, couples only, and an encouragement of women, on paper it makes absolute sense for a male to seek a female companion rather than a male one, due to the fact that single men are still heavily stigmatised. Two males travelling together, will still be seen as single males.

Simply applying common sense, anyone would realise that if a single male has a female companion, they will be accepted as a couple. Even if it is only a platonic relationship, it will greatly enhance their chances of being given access to full naturism, something that is currently not a benefit for single males.

There are a lot of naturists dating sites on the internet, but we have also been made aware that many of them can be toxic and difficult to find any sort of meaningful friendship, so there are very few alternatives for a single to find either a meaningful relationship, or a good quality friendship. It would not be completely wrong to state that naturist dating is possibly some of the hardest to accomplish, because the whole system has now been designed to ensure men and women who are single, either hardly ever, or never meet.

If you do meet someone at a venue, even then you have to be very careful in how you behave, any signs of flirtation and you may very well find yourself being asked to leave, with the blame usually being attached to the male for bad behaviour. We would say it is a lose lose situation, and so even though it may get lost in the pile, hedging your bets at a personal add, might be considered a good shot.

Sadly, that is not always the case, because like most of life today, there are those who would use those adds to place a thinly disguised add for sexual services. The result of this, is that anyone looking for companionship, would be suspicious of as to whether or not your add is genuine, or just another of the many veiled attempts to lure a person into a sexual service for money.

We think it is safe to say that most relationships within naturism start outside of it, mainly because in order to form friendships you have to be able to meet and get to know each other. That is almost impossible for single men within naturism, especially of an older age group. We would say it is easier to meet when you are younger as a naturist, because most of the events tailored towards the youth tend to not apply the quota’s as heavily, which to be honest makes little sense, if the young are only restricted by age, why would the older members of naturism not be treated the same.

We would say the younger generation would be far more inclined to show mating like behaviour openly, than the older generations would, and yet, it is only their age that restricts them, almost like saying when you become older you become more predatorial.  It all appears very unfair, and the truth is, the unfairness is blatant and it is one aspect of naturism that is indeed shameful, and shows great hypocrisy. We live in a world that does not discriminate, unless you are a male naturist.

We would love nothing more than to be able to provide the answer to this problem, and we have looked at many ways in which it can be solved, such as open independent events, where quota’s are not required, which was actually how naturism started a 100 years ago. We would say a big part of the decline we see in naturism today is actually down to what we call “Organised Naturism” which is now over administrating naturism to the point when only couples benefit, as even children and families to a degree have now become isolated and excluded from a very large part of naturism.

We feel the only way to obtain a friendship or relationship with a member of the opposite sex currently, would be to start one outside of naturism, and then hope you could convince your friend or partner to join you at clubs, events, and social gatherings, it is a shameful admission from two huge and passionate supporters of naturism such as us, but honestly, we feel currently, this is the state of modern naturism.