In recent weeks we have discussed the pros and cons of promoting to women and the failing of naturism to encourage families and something that comes up regularly is a want for naturism simply to welcome all and be fully inclusive. 

Something else we are reminded of is the idea that single men are somehow seen as unwelcome in naturism. 

Ironic really isn't it? We want more naturists - we want more female naturists - families are great even though we are a little hush, hush about them and we love to ensure minorities feel welcome. Yet are many not equally important? Take away a man's family or partner and suddenly he becomes a concern, an unwanted member of the naturist community? 

Where is the equality? Where is the inclusion? Should one gender be any less welcome than another? 

Is there an idea that it is positive to have female only groups but negative to have male only groups? Isn't there also the argument that by making men feel rejected from mixed groups they will at least find a welcome in male only groups. So do we not encourage segregation by not being more accepting? 

No one wants a pest or a pervert ruining their time as a naturist - annoying them on beaches, on social media, at a club etc. But shouldn't that be about the behaviour of an individual and not a gender?

Is it about ratios? Well let us face it - it is better to have a good balance of people but is it a man's fault if more men turn up than women? We say we do not want a club overrun by men but we are also happy to have events that are women only - surely this is more out of balance. Should we not just hope that everyone finds their way to naturism?

Surely the most important thing is encouraging good behaviour and respect for naturism. Why are men singled out? Do women not misbehave? What about couples? Do swingers not require men and women? There certainly seems to be a lot of women sexually sharing and exhibiting themselves on social media - it could even be that there are more women than men misusing naturism on the internet. 

Does sexual orientation reflect the way naturism welcomes, views or accepts the male? Are homosexual men more or less welcome than heterosexual men? We have actually had people say to us at beach car parks "I wouldn't go on that beach it is all gay men!" Our attitude is that as long as the users of the beach are respectful of naturism and the other users of the beach then who cares. And mostly these attitudes tend to be blind ignorance - it may be that there are more men than women and some of those men are gay but statistics shouldn't matter it is how the beach is treated and the behaviour of each individual that really counts. 

In this topic I would like people to share their personal experiences. Have you ever been rejected purely because you are a man? Have you been rejected or welcomed due to your sexual orientation? Surely our sexual orientation shouldn't matter - but in reality is that not the case?  

Does age come into consideration? Are young men more welcome than older men? Have you ever found that you are less trusted when you are by yourself than with friends, with mixed company, with a male partner, female partner, or children? 

Do you join male only groups/holidays/events because you are not welcomed elsewhere? Is it just easier to be with other men and not fear being judged? 

Have you ever felt as a single man that people look at you as if to say -Stay away from me or my family? Or have you found that people are actually very friendly and trusting? 

If statistic proved that 99 out of 100 single men pestered women would it not still be totally unfair on the 1% to find themselves rejected purely because they are in a minority? 

One of the biggest issues we face from the “Dressed” world, and social and mainstream media, is the whole issue of sexualisation. We are naked, and so therefore sexual in their eyes.

When you add to that the powerful force that is feminism, then you have a world of sexualised females, and as much as we hate to say it, “Men Bashing.” Controversial as it maybe as a subject, it is hard to ignore it when you are actually a male, and add to that single, and the problem becomes two fold, and that is even before you undress.

As a counsellor, Rob worked with a lot of females. On many occasions he was the only male in the room, and he has talked often about the flippant remarks a lot of women make about their partners, or men in general. They are not always respectful, and can be insulting, and degrading, and it did surprise him, because he was in a room of people who used empathy as a tool of their trade, yet, when it came to men, there was little empathy present. That appears to be the accepted social narrative these days in modern life, and if you are male, you have two choices, accept it, or leave.

Sexism is a two-way street. We can honestly say we never expected to encounter it in naturism. We were not that aware of the problem until last year, we had heard stories on the grapevine, but we had never been confronted with it, after all, why would we, simply put, we are a “couple.”

Once we stepped into a wider and more socially naked scene, we began to notice it as we interacted with others, and one person in particular, who became a really good friend of ours really highlighted it. We chatted away quite happily and shared our ideas and plans, and he smiled, and informed us, “I cannot do that place, I am single, so I will not get in.”

We cannot deny, it felt a little shocking, because around Rin and our daughter, he was so respectful and caring. Knowing him as we do now, as he has become a good friend, it makes no sense to us. Our friend is a genuine and really happy go lucky, respectful man, he is always polite. We did an event together, and he joined in with us, larked around and actually added to the fun of the day, he was wonderful with our daughter, and we may add, attentive to her safety at all times, because we were in a big group that was made up of mixed individuals.

At the end of the event, he went with Rob to collect his things, because the time to leave was coming, and as Rob picked up his things, he noticed how our friend had become quite emotional, as he wiped some tears from his eyes. You see, it had been such a wonderful day, that Rin and our daughter, without thinking had hugged him, and thanked him for everything.

What they did not realise, was it meant the world to him, as for the first time in a very long time, he had actually felt like a part of real naturist social interaction. Normally, he wanders around having small polite conversations, but he is never really welcomed in fully, almost as if there is a cloud of fear around him, and the truth is, he feels it, because he gets very lonely at times.

When you see another human being react with tears, because they were made welcome and included, honestly, it hits you in the face as hard as a cricket bat. He joined BN to find friends, but has had every application he has made to a club turned down, because as they put it. “Their quotas are filled.” We will not deny, we had our eyes well and truly opened.

There is a very noticeable double standard in naturism, because as much as we hate to admit it, because we can be at times a little rose tinted in our rush to join in, naturism has an awful lot of sexism mixed well and truly in the mix.

We get it, because it does reflect society perfectly at this moment in time, everyone is equal and has rights, except of course men. What does it matter, we have actually had told to us, men are tough, they understand, and they have each other. Rob walked away from that comment before he exploded. It appears to us, there are two truths, the facts as they are, and the convenient version of a social narrative.

Okay, so yes, there are a lot of males in naturism, and a lot are single, and yes, it is to a degree true, men gather in groups and talk, but ask yourself this, who do we call when the club house roof needs fixing, who is the first to volunteer to do all those odd jobs, who is it that will apply to push the mower around at first light on a Sunday morning? We hate to say it, because we know it annoys people, but just like women, men really want to be included, and they are happy to get stuck in and do their bit, and as much as it is an unpopular suggestion, men ultimately built naturism from the ground up.

The golden rule of naturism is “It is not sexual.” Yet, in regard to men, they are tried and convicted before they even participate. There is a myth around naturism that women are not joining because they feel men “may” be sexual, it is not even a confirmed fact, and the crazy thing is, half the men in naturism (Usually coupled) actually believe that.

If we want naturism to flourish and be completely equal and inclusive to all, we have to bury the myths of men being sexual predators. Are there some men out there that may pose a threat, yes, and what do we do about it? We tell the “men.” Take a step back, and consider all those times a women has felt uncomfortable and ask yourself, who dealt with the idiot. It was the men.

We have not met one single female in naturism to date that does not back up Rin, when she makes clear she has always felt safe and secure in a mixed socially naked setting, and you can guarantee, if she doesn't, Rob will be the first man up to deal with it, and he will not be alone. Why, because men want equality, and they want safety, and they have a huge amount of respect for every woman they meet in naturism, and so far, every female we have spoken to within naturism, has confirmed that.

What is failing to be seen here, is that the strongest characteristic of men is their need to protect, honestly, it is bred into them from birth, it is in their DNA, and in any situation within naturism, you can bet your last dollar, they will step up to the plate and defend everyone and protect naturism. Yet, we have quotas for them, excluding a large amount, just to make sure that one pervert is kept away. That is the equivalent of sending in one police officer to disarm and subdue a psychopath, and locking all the other officers away until it is done.

We understand this is very unpopular, because it goes against everything the media and social media states, but as a couple, this is something we are passionate about. If the truth be told, even though we are completely safe because we are partnered up, we see how wrong it is. We have seen the impact of it on individuals, and so here we are sticking our necks out, to highlight some pretty unpopular truths. Naturism needs to wake up and “open up,” and be completely inclusive of all.

The women of naturism need to stand up and speak out, and tell other women how safe they are, and how respectful the males they encounter have been. Rob can tell a thousand women they will be safe, and not one of them will believe him, but if Rin tells them how respected she feels and safe, women will be reassured.

The popular narrative is that the numbers need to be balanced out, which means more women need to be recruited, but as long as all the current myths of being sexualised and policies of quotas are in place, how will women ever feel that naturism is safe for all? The narrative of social media and society does not belong in naturism, we have a different mindset, and that is how we make change.

We encourage everyone, we fly the flag of equality for all, and we encourage everyone to be a part of this amazing living natural experience, and welcome them with smiles, respect and open arms. There is an important role for everyone in naturism to help encourage a greater take up, and to highlight the benefits of something all of us have experienced and love. Do we need to police naturism and weed out the bad eggs, of course we do, but that is no different to the dressed world, it is right across the board.

Naturism needs to stop believing all of the false narratives, and have a little trust in ourselves and each other, and we certainly all need to be vigilant and take care and look out of each other. We have enough problems from the dressed world, why create more waves within our world by isolating each other into groups of good and bad? If they are naked and have turned up and got involved, they should be welcomed, and allowed to play their part, regardless of whom they are.

So true. 

I think there is a massive problem about how naturism promotes itself and I have mentioned it before. It promotes through the eyes of naturists and not through the eyes of non-naturists. 

We are naturists we get all the things we see genuine naturists and those that have care and respect about the human body show on media. But non-naturists are looking at what we say with a blank canvas at best and at worse complete mistrust in the notion of being socially nude. 

There are so many posts on social media that are going to be misinterpreted. If a person displays themself naked for no apparent reason then we may think - cool - but non-naturists will think - oddball, exhibitionist, sexual sharer. And in all likelihood they will be followed, messaged and commented on with those thoughts in mind. 

If an event promotes itself as a naked party of dancing and drinking for adults - most people will see it as some sort of orgy. The intentions may be 100% genuine but the promotion is being made with the idea that people already understand naturism and will undoubtedly get people interested who really believe it is something else and will do little to encourage new people to try naturism. 

If a website has images of men and women hiding their breasts and genitals like a Carry On films or like Calendar Girls - naturists will think nothing of it but non-naturists will see naturism as something rather titillating where full nudity remains a peek-a-boo thrill. 

If genuine naturists take to a TV studio and are subjected to stand out, alien nudity surrounded by dressed people - we as naturists will think the interview is brilliant but non-naturists will be to busy giggling about the situation to listen to a single sensible word being said. 

So when I see naturists proudly claiming Women Only events, suggesting safety away from the gaze and pestering of men, all I think about in my imagined non-naturist  mind is that mixed sex nudity offers danger, discomfort and sexualised confrontation and so we offer women male free environments to keep them secure. Add to that the easy to pick up on idea that single men are unwelcome (even if the idea may be exaggerated the idea is very much there), the lack of promoting family naturism, the fact that there is a growing number of adult only events and venues, and that there are also a confusion of libertine venues and an abundance of sexual sharers on social media and it is not hard to see why women (and men and families) will see these women only events exist for one purpose only. To allow women to enjoy nudity in a non-sexual environment that is unusual. So why would women want to bother with naturism at all? A non naturist woman will think - she cannot relax around male strangers, she cannot bring her children and she cannot bring her partner - unless she want to go into something that none of them will find pleasant. More than half of the adult women in the UK have male partners and families take up over half of our entire population so who are these women only events really aimed at?  What % of the women left are going to see a point of becoming naturists when they are not being sold the idea that naturism is safe beyond the odd female only swim?

By making single men feel unwanted we are doing untold damage - not just to the single male naturist but also to the general view of naturism in society and we have to consider that through the eyes of non-naturists.

Yes we have seen a couple of dirty old men in sand dunes over the years - though they were not actually naked. And yes we also witnessed two men get aroused by each other on a beach near us - and that is totally unacceptable. But then I have also seen flashers on the street, men playing with themselves in a "dressed" swimming pool communal shower room, and on "dressed beaches" - so where is the distinction? I have seen thousands of men naked on beaches and events and campsites - why are we allowing such prejudice to exist purely based on such a small minority?

We often talk with single men on beaches, we have on occasions offered them a melon slice or a biscuit. Once we arrived with our sons on a beach and it was a blistering day and we had not packed any drink and a single man gave us a bottle of water. Single men have chatted about the history of beaches, the safe places to swim, interesting things to look out for, they have taken photos for us. When push comes to shove they are part of the naturist community and why would we treat them any differently to single women, couples and families? If someone gives you the creeps then you are wary of them whoever they may be and who ever they are with - and it is like that in dressed society as well as naked. 

How can naturism be better understood when naturists act just as distrusting as non-naturists?

To us it makes simple logic: If women within naturism do not trust men, and see them as potential sexual preditors, how can we ever convince those outside of naturism that it is none sexual and safe?

Excluding men simply because they are "single" because according to the logic of that, "Coupled Men are safe" no matter which way you look at it, is discrimination. It is a message that goes against the mainstream narrative that naturism is safe, and this form of discrimination, we feel, damages naturism.

We can not have it both ways, it is either open to all, or open only to some, and that is an issue that needs to be resolved once and for all, so everyone is aware of what naturism is about, clothed or unclothed. 

So true and it isn't just about excluding men because they are single - we create these women only swims and events and promote them with great pride - so it becomes a two way threat. Single men are not wanted and women only events are - so even the children and the men with partners appear to be shoved out. Both ideas very much say women can only be safe in naturism if they are kept away from men. 

It is the same with adult only events - they would not mean have as much if we also happily promoted family events, families in naturism etc - but the proliferation of one and the lack of promoting the other just makes naturism appear sexualised and unsuitable for children. 

So on hand hand we are suggesting that women need to stay a way from men and men cannot be trusted - and on the other side we are suggesting that naturism is a adult only lifestyle - those people who do not know naturism have only really one of three stances to take take - it is about sex, sex or sex - Oh gosh there is only one stance! We need to change the way naturism is being promoted today before naturism no longer exists for any of us and is just replaced by a Cap D'Agde attitude towards nudity. Gosh we even see some bodies becoming fearful of tagging social nudity with the term naturist (labels aren't cool) so maybe they are helping this along! We should not be afraid of having a word for naturism - it isn't uncool to have a word that describes what you do (fisherman, artist, footballer.....) we are being fearful because we think if people don't see it as a tag then they won't fear it. We are diminishing are ability to sell naturism as a life choice and a thing that people can do as a hobby, or on holiday, or in a club or event if we try not to give it a name. 

I am not a vegetarian because it labels me - I am a vegetarian because I do not eat meat and people get that whether they approve or not. 

I am not a naturist because it labels me but because I like being with out clothes on occasions and people should understand that whether they like it or not. When people chose the vegetarian option on a menu or a vegetarian meal from a supermarket it doesn't give them a tag and it doesn't even mean they won't eat meat tomorrow. And the same with naturist. If someone goes to a naturist beach today it doesn't mean they will be naked tomorrow or are always taking part in naturism - it just means they sometimes opt to take part in naturism and that should be understood. 

You can join ANW simply because you want to learn about naturism, or because you want to find a beach once a year or because you spend 90% of your life without clothes. It doesn't matter because it is understanding what naturism is and respecting it and taking part in it that counts - no matter how often you do, how you do and when you do. We should embrace the word and ensure that it is widely understood and appreciated and in return the life choice of enjoying naturism can then be treated the same. 

Topics like this should remind us that everyone should be encouraged to enjoy naturism single men, families, children, women ....everyone - and it isn't about wearing a label but about enjoying something as a part of your life - something universally suitable - like cycling or swimming - and by embracing the word and embracing everyone we are much more likely to see that happen. Think how ridiculous it would be if we tried to suggest that cooking was not suitable for children or should only be done by women (this isn't the 1950's) and then feared using the name in case it labelled people who enjoy cooking. That is what we are doing with naturism - shoving people out and fearing the word - and then we wonder why more people don't take part and enjoy what is actually one of the easiest and most natural ways of spending time you can imagine.