The reasons you are doing it?

What I am hoping every woman walks away with is the duality of the word ImPerfect. Society tells us we are imperfect, never good enough, not worthy, and so many other negative things about ourselves. But when you capitalize the i and the p, what happens is something incredible. When we change that word to something positive and I tell myself ImPerfect, I am given the power. Or maybe its permission, permission to tell myself I AM good enough, I AM worthy.

My friend Diane chose the word for the 2023 WOW campaign. She has always been an incredible inspiration to me. It’s her word that inspired me to name this tour the ImPerfect Tour. I hope women feel that way after having been to the workshop. No matter how much I’ve grown to love myself, that voice creeps in from time to time. I give some strategies for combating that negative voice. Name the voice in your head- talk to it, out loud if needed. Journal our thoughts. In your journal write down three positive things about your day. Put a picture of yourself as a little girl in the front of your journal. Or a photo of your daughter, niece, maybe a friend. Would you say the things you're telling yourself to those people? No we would not. So why do we do that to ourselves? It’s an exercise to redirect negative thoughts. Encourage the women in your life with cards or small notecards. My friend and I hide a bunch around each other's houses from time to time. It often takes two months to find all the hidden cards.

My hope and goal is for women to hear the words that they can let go of all the negative things they’ve heard about their bodies their entire life. Don’t let the voice in your head take over. Embrace what your body is and has done for you. Like Diane from the WOW campaign says, “These legs-they dance, these arms-they hug, these stretch marks remind me of my children. Whatever it is about your body that you are not in love with, figure out what will change that narrative from hate to love. I don’t love my smile, never have. But I am looking at it through the hundreds of pictures I’m taking for this tour, and I am starting to really love it, especially when I smile real big. It’s almost a laugh and that is beautiful.

Diane also wrote something that I share in every session: FORGIVENESS “After years of battling with our body image, We must learn to forgive negative feelings. Acknowledge them and realize they don’t have to identify us. LET THEM GO Replace them with positive images. Not of what we wish we could be, But of where we are right now, this moment. Know that it’s absolutely okay to be who we are.” I love the idea of forgiving ourselves for all the way we feel about and talk to ourselves. I’ve never really thought of how toxic that is. But it really is. Tell yourself something long enough, and you start to believe it. One quote that has had a huge impact on me is by Nayyirah Wayheed who says, , “and I said to my body softly, I want to be your friend. It took a long breath and replied, I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.”

What issues women are facing from themselves, from male naturists, from the rest of society. 

Wherever I go I talk about being a naturist. At the doctor’s office, grocery store, and surprisingly a great many conversations in restaurant bathrooms. I strike up a conversation with a woman and we end up talking for 20 minutes. Tom will ask another woman to check on me as I’ve been in there so long. What I hear most often is, “I can’t go to a place like that until I lose weight.” I explain that no one cares what your body looks like, we want to get to know you. That is a hard hurdle to get over for a lot of women. I know because I was one of them. 

Tom meets with the men while the women are in the workshop. They discuss whatever is on their minds. One thing Tom talked about was men’s treatment of women on a visit to a club/event/venue. He said that women returning to the club is up to the men and how they treat women at the club. At our home clubs, when a single woman visits, we try to make sure the women are their main contact to make them feel comfortable. It’s okay to say, “Hi, how are you doing?” 1 or 2 questions are fine but then move on. You don’t want to overwhelm them. Don't follow them around. If she wants to continue the conversation, she will. If we see men at the clubs bothering a woman and making her uncomfortable, we ask him to stop and give him a warning. In the clubs, people watch out for each other.

Then we talked about Andee's workshop which focuses on mental well-being and being strong. If she has 1 person out of that group that was helped, and 1 lady feels better about themselves, then it was a success. What she is trying to do is instill confidence in women. Another question was why the groups have to separate. They felt men needed to hear what Andee was talking about. I explained that’s why I’m talking about it to them. Women need time to get together without men there because if a man is in the room, some women will not talk. Men need to be together as men to build each other up. Women need to edify each other and make deeper meaningful connections. These separated times together make us stronger when we are all together. One question that keeps coming up is, “What does AANR do for me? Why should I continue my membership?” Tom explains how AANR is advocating for our rights on a continual basis. There is legislation across the country that is always trying to take our rights to be nude away. He explains that it’s the best insurance policy you could purchase to secure those rights. He also encourages each club to send an AANR representative to the regional meetings. In order to know what’s going on, you must send a delegate. It’s a win win for the person going who will learn about AANR but also meet some pretty amazing people. It’s also the best way for your regional AANR board to know what your club is needing. Other times they just have a great time talking about how much they love naturism and this way of life. And of course the same question keeps coming up at each stop, “How do we get younger people to join?” What their discussions garnered were the fact that young people are raising families, have jobs, and not much free time. So when they do come to a club or go to an event, they are not interested in joining, yet. Perhaps sometime down the road they will be. For now, there must be something geared toward enticing them in: pickleball, fitness, pool, yoga, something unique to draw them in. 

Tom has had just as many men in his meet and greet session as Andee does in hers. It tells us that men are equally needing to get together and talk or just spend time together as guys. Tom and I are available during our entire visit to talk with anyone wandering by or while we’re out walking. We fly three flags outside our RV so people know we are there. Many stop and look at the signs which give us an opportunity to strike up a conversation.